Embarrassing Moments That Make You Realize Certain Things About Yourself That You Never Realized Before

     So, I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but recently, I discovered something about myself that I hadn't really realized before: I'm a total creeper.
     No, not like a Minecraft creeper (for the Minecraft nerds among you) that chases you across fields and then blows up your house when you think you're safe.  Although, I bet Minecraft creepers were modeled after human stalkers, like bad ex-boyfriends who follow you . . . back to your house . . . and blow up your house when. . . wow.  Yeah.  Creepers are definitely based on bad exes.
    Anyway, I'm way below that level of creeper.  First, let me explain that I am a people-watcher; I like to study people: their faces, their responses to situations or other people, the way they act when they think no one is watching, etc.  It's a writer thing.  Studying people makes it easier to create well-rounded, interesting, and downright complicated characters, much like actual human beings are.  We are; humans are complicated.  And I love trying to figure out what makes people tick.
     People-watching is also an artist thing.  At least, it is for me; I draw people.  I paint people.  I recently did a project for my advanced painting class that involved taking pictures of friends, acquaintances, etc., and then recreating their faces with acrylic paint on leather in dramatic colors.  For example:

This is my own face.  Part of the collection.  There are six other paintings in the collection.

Recreating a person's face and making it even remotely recognizable requires you to study said person's face very carefully.  You have to find the little details that make your model's face look the way it does, whether it's the slight curving up of one side of his/her mouth, or the small deviation in the line of his/her nose.  It all matters, and it all requires careful inspection.

     I have trained myself to look for these details.  And in doing so, I've become a bit of a creeper.  I stare at people a lot.  And sometimes, the subjects of my staring become not just interesting faces, but the faces of people I want to get to know.  And most of the time, it works out well; a lot of my closest friends began as people whose faces I found thought-provoking to look at.

     Unfortunately (or is it fortunate that I now know and can, therefore, be less weird about it?), after recently conversing with one of the subjects I had been (there's no non-creepy way to put this) studying for awhile, I realized what a huge creep I am.  I unwittingly revealed that I had been paying attention to him for awhile (not in a sexualized or flirty way, either; I'm engaged).  Luckily, despite being pretty weirded out, he was very good-natured about it all, and mostly understood that it's a writer thing.  Which means I probably won't be issued a restraining order.  Good thing, because that's not at all what I intended.

     However, I am still embarrassed beyond all belief.  I mean, turning the situation around, how would I feel if some person I didn't know basically told me they had been watching me for quite awhile?  Answer: I'd be afraid that that person was actually a serial killer, and was going to find out where I lived and murder me in my sleep.  Or, on a not-quite-so-drastic level, stalk me around campus, saying they "just want to be my friend."  Yep, that's probably what I sound like.  Poor man . . . If you're reading this: again, I am so sorry.

     Okay.  Back to work.  It's finals week; maybe the stress is getting to me and making me mentally unstable.  Except I'm not mentally unstable.  I mean, I don't think I am.  Goodness gracious, I don't know how my friends are still my friends.  God bless them.

This is Maximum Sunshine, signing off.  Αντίο και ο Θεός ταχύτητας.

Mumbly-Bugger

For Tomás . . .


     Do you ever go through those phases in life where, one week, you can speak fairly eloquently (and have quite the arsenal of snappy comebacks that you didn't even really know you could possess), and the next week, you can get your point across about as well as a caveman?  It's a phase that runs its course every month or so, and when it hits you, you just feel like storing paperclips in your mouth because they would serve you better than talking would.
     I'm there, now.  I can't even form coherent thoughts during a conversation, let alone coherent sentences.  Mostly, I just stand there, with my mouth slightly ajar as I try to think of what to say.  It's extremely embarrassing.
     And yet, I have absolutely no problem writing my thoughts.  It's like the keyboard is a trigger or a switch, and as soon as I sit down to type, the switch is flipped, and my thoughts come rushing out like water being poured from a bucket: all at once.  It's refreshing, really; I don't have to strain to figure out what I'm feeling, and I get time to filter out what doesn't really need to be said.  That's the only confirmation I need for my being an English Writing major; it's obviously the easiest way for me to communicate, since I have a knack for stuffing my mouth full of paperclips when dealing with face-to-face, group conversations.
     But you know what?  I'm okay with it.  Sure, it's frustrating when I can't get my words out verbally (especially when it comes to editing a paper for someone.  I know why something should be altered, but I can only make uncomfortable noises, such as "Uuunngghhh," and "Duuurrr," instead of intelligently and expertly explaining my reasoning).  Yeah, that's upsetting.  But I'd rather be a mumbly-bugger when it comes to verbal communication than be a crappy writer.  If that were the case, I'd definitely be in the wrong major.

This is Maximum Sunshine, signing off.  Αντίο και ο Θεός ταχύτητας.

The Accusatory Dart Aimed Right At Our Hearts...

     So, I heard something that disturbed me today.  I won't go into too much detail, but here is the gist:

     A group was having a bake sale.  One of the people I was talking to thought the group was a Christian group, and therefore, didn't want to buy any goodies from them; they didn't want to help the group raise money to go on a mission trip because they didn't want them to try and spread their "religion" to other people.  This person said religion like one might say "dog vomit."

     Okay, now before you close out of this page because you don't want to read just another post, ragging on non-Christians, know that this is not what this post is.  It's the exact opposite; I think it's about time we Christians get a taste of our own bitter medicine.

Now, if I've piqued your interest and you're still with me, I will continue on with the above anecdote:

     When I first heard what this person had said, I was offended.  I wanted to pipe up and say something caustic, and ask why this person would say such a thing.  But I stopped myself and actually thought about that question: why would somebody say such a thing?  What would make somebody have such a negative view towards Christian people and groups?

     I have an answer.  It is because we Christians, as pious and good as we think we are, are judgmental, incriminating, self-righteous people.  Now, before my fellow Christians decide to attack me for such a statement, think about what I just said.  We are judgmental, incriminating, self-righteous people.

     We judge others based on the things they've done, or the sins they've committed, all-the-while telling people that Jesus loves them no matter what they've done.  We run around, damning people for their sins, hence the incriminating part.  Yet, we ignore our own sins, thinking that "Oh, well that person has done worse sins than I have.  Ours aren't as bad, right?"
     Wrong.  Every sin is the same.  But we treat them like there's a hierarchy, thus the self-righteousness (Definition: confident of one's own righteousness, especially when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others).  Just because we define ourselves as Christians doesn't mean we can run around telling other people they're going to Hell for their sins (which are totally worse than ours, right?).
     Are you LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender)?  You're going to Hell.  (This is a big one that everyone hears about)
     Had sex before marriage?  You're going to Hell.
     Had an abortion?  You're going to Hell.

     Um, excuse me, fellow Christians, but nobody gave us permission to prance around on our high, white horses, damning people.  If I'm not mistaken, Jesus didn't go around damning folks to Hell.  No, He treated everyone with love.  And that's what He called us to do:  Mark 12:31 "And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these."

     Although we make Jesus out to be this loving guy, we're not mirroring that love.  Instead, we're showing everyone that if they are gay, or promiscuous, or anything like that, we're not going to love them, and so it seems, neither will Jesus.  But we often forget: John 3:17 "For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."  Sure, we tell folks that when we're telling them about our Christ, but from the way we act sometimes, it's no wonder people refuse to believe.  Our actions are pushing people away from God.  We're trying to shove doctrines down their throats like "You have to believe this or you're going to Hell."  While it's true we'll go to Hell if we don't let God be our best friend, nobody wants to be told everything they're doing wrong, over and over again.  They get enough of that; what we should be doing is loving them.
     I cannot stress enough: NO MORE JUDGING, because it is not our place.  Christ's love is supposed to shine through us, clear and pure like a spotlight, to show that what we are trying to get people to come to is a place full of love and forgiveness, regardless.  But that doesn't show very well when we take black sheets with judgment and hypocrisy written all over them, and throw them over that spotlight.

     So, my fellow Christians, I'm aiming this accusatory dart right at us: maybe the reason non-Christians don't want to know God is because we are pushing them away.  Stop the judgment; start loving unconditionally, like we have been called to do.  Let's do our jobs, and let's do them right.

This is Maximum Sunshine, signing off.  Αντίο και ο Θεός ταχύτητας..

I Was Planning On Being Productive Over Break...

     . . . But that hasn't really happened.  I did work on my poetry homework, but other than that, I've parked my rear on my couch and have accomplished nothing in process.

     I'm still accomplishing nothing, other than writing to you, my readers.  Let's see . . . what haven't I told you?  I chopped my hair off, for one:

So that's fun.  Um . . . wow, how can so much time have passed, and yet I have nothing exciting to relay?

     I got a lot more music. -shakes head- this is really sad . . . normally, I have so much to say . . . Well, I'm only human I guess . . . So, here's Christina Perri to validate my point.

This is Maximum Sunshine, signing off.  Αντίο και ο Θεός ταχύτητας.

13 Things About College That You Should Do, Know, And Understand

     So, I've done one of these before, but it was 50 Things About High School That No One Ever Tells You, But Really Should, and it was done for the 2012 new year.  This one is for the 2014 new year, and it's the college edition.

1. When you go on a college visit and stay for lunch, don't get used to it.  The food is only that delicious because the college is trying to impress potential students.  Although, it is still better than high school cafeteria food, so don't worry about it too much.
2. You will miss home.  I know you think you can't stand another minute under you parents' roof, but after awhile, you will get a little homesick.  It may not be for your parents, or your house, but just little things that you used to do before you went off to college.  Or, you may miss your parents.  You might miss your own bed.  Who knows?  But you will miss home or something about home.
3. You will do one of two things:  You will either become a cleaner person, or you will do the opposite.  Living with another person makes you conscious of how messy you are.  And if it doesn't, you might wanna work on that...
4. You don't need to take everything in your closet with you.  Only take what you are most likely to wear the most often.  Leave the rest at home, so that when you do come home, you don't have to bring a bunch of clothes back.
5. Little things like staplers, white out, sticky notes, and note cards are essential.  These things become your best friends for working late on papers, when the library is no longer open to provide such services.
6. Get a printer.  This will save you a lot of angst and worry when the library is not open and that paper you need to print needed to be printed yesterday!
7. Hold off on the partying for the first few weeks of school.  (They actually do tell you this one).  The cops are just waiting to bust up parties and MIP as many freshman as they can.  At my college, on the first weekend, over 30 people got MIPPED.  The next weekend, nearly just as many.
8. Stock up on snacks for your dorm room.  That way, you don't have to run out for food while working on late night homework.
9. Spend a lot of time in the library.  You never know what kind of people you will meet in the library.  No joke.
10. Your study habits will improve.  I know people say that, but it's really true.  Once you start realizing that you are the one paying for your classes, or if you have a scholarship to keep, you'll find yourself actually starting to study for things.  I'm not saying you won't procrastinate, but you will procrastinate less.
11. Knowing how to cite sources is something you will have to know how to do.  Some professors understand that you may have forgotten how, or never learned, and may go over how to cite sources.  Others will expect you to already know.  My advice?  Purchase a citation manual from the college bookstore.  Some English professors may require you to get one anyway, but it's a great resource to have.  You need it.
12. Don't complain about generals.  Everybody has to take them, (unless you have some weird major that doesn't involve gen eds) and complaining about them won't make them go away.  So, just try to glean as much information as you can from them (and pass them so you don't have to take them, again) and move on.
13. If you're going to college just to party, don't.  Not only are you wasting your time, but you're wasting the time of your classmates, your professors, and the college in general.  You're also wasting money.  I'm pretty sure you could party with college kids just as easily without wasting the effort and money enrolling.  So, if you're not there to do the work, don't bother being there at all.

This is Maximum Sunshine, signing off.  Αντίο και ο Θεός ταχύτητας.

I Fail As A Blogger (And A Writer) But That Is Okay

     My last post was in November; it is now January 11th, and I have failed at writing so hardcore.  Not only have I had a month of free time to write for my blog, I have had a month of free time to work on my book.  Ladies and gentlemen, I haven't touched either.  What have I done instead with my free time?  I played Skyrim for about a week straight.  Now, my vacation is dwindling.  I'm back in class on Monday.  Guys, what have I done with my vacation?!
     Actually, I do have an answer for that:  I enjoyed it.  Yes, I could (and should) have made myself write, even for just a little bit (technically, I am doing that, right now).  But I decided that instead of locking myself away in my room, I would enjoy spending time with my family.  My mom watched me play Skyrim for awhile, as did my brother.  My dad and I had a Heartland marathon (for those of you that don't understand, Heartland is a Canadian TV show).  I spent time outside with my horses and other pets.  I had a nice date with Tanner for his birthday, and we ate chili and grilled peanut butter and cheese sandwiches and watched NCIS and movies until 3 in the morning.  I had a lunch date that turned into a 7-hour conversation with my best friend Michela.  I visited an old friend, Cassie, whom I haven't seen in ages when we went to school together.  I took a trip to Columbus and spent time with my friend Grant while he was on leave.  I even went on a few cleaning sprees, which used to be very unlike me, but has gotten more and more common lately when I come home.  I saw The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug with my mom.  I enjoyed being lazy, and sleeping in until noon or 1 o'clock in the afternoon, and eating at all hours of the day.
     So, while, yes, I skipped out on writing, I decided to enjoy all the other things, like my family and friends, while I could.  Because sometimes, you don't really appreciate the things you have until they are gone.  And I don't want to wait for that to happen before I realize their importance.

This is Maximum Sunshine, signing off.  Αντίο και ο Θεός ταχύτητας.