Embarrassing Moments That Make You Realize Certain Things About Yourself That You Never Realized Before

     So, I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but recently, I discovered something about myself that I hadn't really realized before: I'm a total creeper.
     No, not like a Minecraft creeper (for the Minecraft nerds among you) that chases you across fields and then blows up your house when you think you're safe.  Although, I bet Minecraft creepers were modeled after human stalkers, like bad ex-boyfriends who follow you . . . back to your house . . . and blow up your house when. . . wow.  Yeah.  Creepers are definitely based on bad exes.
    Anyway, I'm way below that level of creeper.  First, let me explain that I am a people-watcher; I like to study people: their faces, their responses to situations or other people, the way they act when they think no one is watching, etc.  It's a writer thing.  Studying people makes it easier to create well-rounded, interesting, and downright complicated characters, much like actual human beings are.  We are; humans are complicated.  And I love trying to figure out what makes people tick.
     People-watching is also an artist thing.  At least, it is for me; I draw people.  I paint people.  I recently did a project for my advanced painting class that involved taking pictures of friends, acquaintances, etc., and then recreating their faces with acrylic paint on leather in dramatic colors.  For example:

This is my own face.  Part of the collection.  There are six other paintings in the collection.

Recreating a person's face and making it even remotely recognizable requires you to study said person's face very carefully.  You have to find the little details that make your model's face look the way it does, whether it's the slight curving up of one side of his/her mouth, or the small deviation in the line of his/her nose.  It all matters, and it all requires careful inspection.

     I have trained myself to look for these details.  And in doing so, I've become a bit of a creeper.  I stare at people a lot.  And sometimes, the subjects of my staring become not just interesting faces, but the faces of people I want to get to know.  And most of the time, it works out well; a lot of my closest friends began as people whose faces I found thought-provoking to look at.

     Unfortunately (or is it fortunate that I now know and can, therefore, be less weird about it?), after recently conversing with one of the subjects I had been (there's no non-creepy way to put this) studying for awhile, I realized what a huge creep I am.  I unwittingly revealed that I had been paying attention to him for awhile (not in a sexualized or flirty way, either; I'm engaged).  Luckily, despite being pretty weirded out, he was very good-natured about it all, and mostly understood that it's a writer thing.  Which means I probably won't be issued a restraining order.  Good thing, because that's not at all what I intended.

     However, I am still embarrassed beyond all belief.  I mean, turning the situation around, how would I feel if some person I didn't know basically told me they had been watching me for quite awhile?  Answer: I'd be afraid that that person was actually a serial killer, and was going to find out where I lived and murder me in my sleep.  Or, on a not-quite-so-drastic level, stalk me around campus, saying they "just want to be my friend."  Yep, that's probably what I sound like.  Poor man . . . If you're reading this: again, I am so sorry.

     Okay.  Back to work.  It's finals week; maybe the stress is getting to me and making me mentally unstable.  Except I'm not mentally unstable.  I mean, I don't think I am.  Goodness gracious, I don't know how my friends are still my friends.  God bless them.

This is Maximum Sunshine, signing off.  Αντίο και ο Θεός ταχύτητας.